Q&A
SURVIVOR’S FEAR OF THERAPY
Q: I’ve been reading the topics at your site for several months now and I have found a lot of it very helpful. Thank you for taking the time to help others as you have. Unfortunately, your topics also made me realize how much trying to help oneself isn’t...
TALKS TO HIMSELF
Q: I talk to myself out-loud. I do not talk loud, I just whisper or mumble to myself when pondering a problem or issue. My wife thinks that I have mental problems and this is a symptom. What do you think? A: The good news is that this doesn’t prove you have...
THERAPIST SAYS HE DISSOCIATES
Q: I enjoy reading the site and gave therapy a shot. I wasn’t feeling connected/focused to the world and myself. My therapist said I have dissociation and need to be in the moment. We had two sessions together and since the strategy was simple I gave it a shot....
THERAPIST’S QUALITIES: TRAINED OR INBORN?
Q: This is more like an “academic” question, to which I needed an answer by a professional. Do you think that in order to be a therapist, it is necessary that someone naturally have a strong insight into other people; meaning an inborn ability to guess...
THEY ARE BOTH CONTROLLING
Q: Enjoyed page on controlling people. I am one and I am dating a woman who is also. I just ended a marriage with a passive-aggressive person. I really resent Ms. New giving me advice, and I work to limit my own advice giving. Is there any hope for this new...
THINKS I’M WRONG ABOUT ABUSE
Q: You seem to answer lots of questions about how to get help if you’re hurting people sexually or if you are the one being hurt. You make it sound easy to tell but you’re wrong. A: It’s not easy. It’s hard! And it’s necessary. And it...
THINKS MEN ONLY TURN ON TO BREASTS
Q: Why are men only attracted to a woman’s breasts? A: They aren’t! Men are known to respond more to “objects” than women do, and that includes breasts, eyes, skin, buttocks, legs, vagina, and everything else. But men also respond to the whole...
THINKS SHE’S A BURDEN TO BOYFRIEND
Q: I’m seeing a counselor because I was abused as a child. I’m 19 and have been with my boyfriend for two years. I dwell on his past and the women he’s slept with,as I’ve only slept with him. I feel guilty that he’s with me when I am such...
TIRED FROM WORK STRESS
Q: I’m very tired and stressed from work, what types of therapy do you suggest? A: Your question is so vague… but I’d suggest that first you need a good physical checkup to see if there is a medical cause for your tired feeling. Then, if that checks...
TOO DEPENDENT ON THERAPIST?
Q: I really enjoy my therapist, she has helped me so much, but I wonder is this healthy? Being excited about seeing her? Thinking about her in between sessions? Worried about becoming too dependent on her? Sad about the day when we don’t see each other anymore?...
TOO INVOLVED WITH HIS EX
Q: I’m dating a divorced father who freely gives his ex too much child support. He says she will not be able to live in the same home without his help. Not only this but now he is keeping his children full time and continuing to provide her with most of the...
TOO MUCH TOUCHING?
Q: My wife says I touch her too much. How can I fight this feeling of always wanting to be close to her? It makes her angry and always leads to an argument. I give her too much attention, and I feel she doesn’t give me enough? A: We all need touch and we all need...
USES ANGER ON HER CHILDREN
Q: I have been having counseling for about six months and have come to the point where she feels I no longer need it. I have talked about major issues in my life until I can talk no more, but I still seem to be so angry and depressed, yet when I am with the counselor...
VIOLENT FANTASIES
Q: Do all or most guys that get off by fantasizing about or watching so called violent acts of sex become sexual predators? thanks A:: This isn’t the kind of thing I’d know about for sure, but I’ll do some speculating. 1) I doubt that everyone who...
WANTS CLOSENESS
Q: I have realized by looking over my life that I have an inability to bond and be close with people. People around me always seem to have stronger relationships. I always seem to feel so distant. I know it comes from my father, because that’s how he is. Can I...
WANTS HELP TO AVOID MOLESTING
Q: Is it possible to get help to not molest without going to jail? Yes, definitely… but you’ll have to contact agencies in your own area to learn about it. Call a Family Service Agency or your local Mental Health Association. You can do this anonymously,...
WAS RAPE HER FAULT?
Q: My boyfriend and I were playfully wrestling on the floor; he got rough, pinned me down, & pressured me for sex. I said no but he held me down until finally I submitted. My first time and it was horrible. But was it rape? I didn’t stop him, so I deserved...
WEAK ON THE INSIDE
Q: Hi. I was hurt when I was kid, I don’t really like to say the words. I wrote it down and let my therapist read it (which I never had any intention of doing and I’m not quite certain if it was a good thing or a bad thing) but anyway, she is very kind. A:...
WHAT IS SEXUAL ABUSE ?
Q: I just had a real quick question if you happen to find the time… I’m 17 and a couple years ago after my parents divorced, my dad did everything but have sex with me. I’ve always wondered if this counts as sexual abuse – I used to defend him...
WHO MASTURBATES MORE?
Q: You always hear about how all males masturbate, but I was wondering what percent of females masturbate? And why is it that guys tend to be more honest about saying they masturbate? If you can answer, I thank you. A: Therapists aren’t experts on masturbation...
