Q&A
REMEMBERING SEXUAL ABUSE
Q: I was sexually abused by my grandfather. Although I’ve always known about it, I have no memories of it – just physical reactions to things now. What are some different things I can do to help to remember? A: First of all I just want to say I’m...
SAYS MEAN THINGS WHEN HE’S DRUNK
Q: If a husband says very critical and mean things to his wife when drinking but not when sober, do these hurtful comments reflect how he really feels about his wife? Could it be subconscious feelings coming out or a total personality change not based in reality? A: I...
SCARY BOYFRIEND
Q: I’m very confused and hurt. I’m dating this guy who has a major anger management problem. I want him to get help but he believes that he doesn’t need it. We would fight and he would then start to swear and then throw things either at me or the...
SELF-HELP THROUGH AFFIRMATIONS
Q: A few years ago I had a problem with depression. I was depressed for several years. I hit bottom when I attempted suicide…it was a pathetic attempt but a serious one. After that I finally decided I didn’t want to live that way anymore. I remembered a...
SELF-LOVE VS. SELF-ABUSE
Q: I just bookmarked your site. It’s wonderful. I had an amazing experience in finding it. I woke up this morning and decided to start loving myself (after 35 years of self-abuse). As a part of this, I decided to go look into the mirror and say aloud to myself...
SEXUAL FRIENDSHIP ONLY?
I have a friend at work and we have gotten very close in the past years. We’ve been lovers for four years now. We are both married and one night we went out after work we got intimate. We agreed that we should have a friendship with sex. Everything was fine...
SEXUALLY ABUSED AND EMOTIONALLY ABUSED
Q: I’m 28. My brother raped me when I was 10. He kept begging for sex and I finally said yes. He got a lecture. I got deeply shamed by parents, the gynecologist, and the ‘therapist.’ How can I not have to deal with that experience anymore? I...
SHE MARRIED A PLAYER
Q: Oh boy. I married one. I was swept off my feet for a year. Got married. Yes, he is very cute and charming. He romanced me for a year. I believed everything he told me (for a little while) then started to get suspicious. By then it was too late. I was already...
SHE’S A PERFECTIONIST
Q: I suffer from Perfectionism. Seeing a therapist will cause me great anxiety. I don’t feel comfortable talking face to face to a stranger about my problem, and I don’t want to admit to anyone face to face that I have a problem. A: You make seeing...
SHE’S CONCERNED ABOUT HIS WEAK ORGASMS
Q: My man is 30 years old and I was his first sexual experience, his first time. He does have an ejaculation he says, but he does not feel the full orgasm. He just feels it come out . Why doesn’t my man experience a full body orgasm? A: This is a problem for...
SHE’S IN DANGER
Q: I live about 100 miles from him. About a month ago, or maybe two, he started accusing me of cheating on him (I never have, there weren’t even other men I was talking to). He started getting very abusive in a way. He would call (still does) all through the...
SHOULD SHE STAY WITH HIM?
Q: Dive been in this relationship for 7 years We’ve been through it all: lies, stealing, drugs, and finally cheating on me. We are married but separated. Six months, no contact. I finally saw him again, two days ago, he found me. We talked, he wants to keep our...
SHOULD SHE TRUST HIM AGAIN?
Q: Is a lack of trust fixable with time or should I seek therapy? A relationship I was in ended for awhile back in April, but we’re back together; only I feel numb as if I’m afraid to love him again. He left unexpectedly and came back very strongly, but I...
SHOULD SOMEONE IN AA TAKE AN ANTIDEPRESSANT?
Q: Recently having to finally come to grips with my depression, and being told by 3 therapists I would benefit by taking an antidepressant, I’ve chosen to take the medicine prescribed Being in the 12-step fellowships, I am in conflict with my clean time. Help....
SISTER WON’T PAY FOR MOTHER’S CARE
Q: My parents own two houses but have no cash, no income. Mom (age 60) has a cancerous colon polyp which the doctor says needs to be removed ASAP. She asked for us kids to help. (Total cost $1000, = $250 ea.) One daughter (with ample money) says no to this and any...
STARTING OVER
Q: I was very impressed with your response to a grieving woman. I want to know what you would advice a person to do about going into another relationship after her recent lost loved one. If the grieving process is over… and the person is ready to begin a new but...
STARTING THERAPY
Q:My wife and I are on the brink of divorce. She is pushing away all those close to her and I think it’s because of her deep seated fears and anger. What sort of therapy might be helpful for her. Thank you. == A: There are various kinds of therapy, each of which...
STILL ANGRY AT ALCOHOLIC EX
Q: I was with an active alcoholic for 7 years. I haven’t had contact with him for a year. I loved him so much, but I never felt loved. I never really had his attention. I still feel angry. Is this unusual? A: Not At All!! Who wouldn’t be angry about...
SUDDEN ANGER AT HER BOYFRIEND
Q: Occasionally I become so angry at my boyfriend, I can feel the anger swell up from the pit of my stomach and I become cold and hateful. I will say hurtful things and feel the anger within me. Normally I am loving and sweet. Any insight to this? A: Do you feel angry...
SUICIDAL AND EMBARRASSED
Q; Have you ever humiliated yourself so bad you just want to die? I sent the pastor of my church a card telling him how I feel about him, that I like him, etc. and now I regret it. He was feeling low and I wanted to cheer him up. All my words sounded really stupid....
